By Kondomar Herrera

It’s 7:40 a.m., class starts at 8 a.m., but you have to drop your 3-year-old son at the day care and you can’t seem to find your keys.  You slip on a toy car, lecture him about leaving toys out, and smile to find your keys in front of you. 

Welcome to student-parent life. 

Buffalo State College offers all student-parents with a variety of services including counseling, day care and housing to help them ease their transition. The individual makes the final choice.

Pregnant, now what?

Tiffany, 23, a single mom at Buffalo State, found out she was pregnant five years ago during her senior year of City Honors High School.  Tiffany’s intuition told her she might be pregnant.  After she confirmed it, telling everyone was her biggest fear. 

Speaking to someone could ease these common fears.  The Counseling Center at the Wiegel Health Center on campus provides this confidential support. 

“We also offer links to child care and couples counseling, but not family counseling,” said Joan Mc Cool, a counselor.

The center presents the student with information on choices such as abortion, adoption and keeping the baby.  Planned parenthood information is also available.

Entering Wiegel, there is a poster reading, "Safe Haven Law," which was passed in 2001 by state legislatures.  The law states that women who give birth and don’t want their babies can leave the baby with someone at a safe place.  However, the mother must answer brief medical questions about the baby.  The baby is then placed in a foster home until another home is found.             

• In New York state, a baby can’t be older than five months when dropped off.
• “Safe places” include fire stations, police stations and hospitals.
• Mother could submit legal papers within 15 months of birth to get baby back.
• There are no legal consequences; guaranteed confidentiality.
• Call 1-877-796-HOPE and request someone to pick up the baby.

Keeping the baby

Some mothers have a support system made of family and friends.  Many young mothers have a fear that their family will disown them. 

“I think they say that, but they rarely ever would.  Parents want to uphold their image in society.  Usually parents that do disown are higher up in the community.  But once baby is born, things totally change,” said Tiffany.

After getting over her fear of telling everyone, her mother asked what she wanted to do.  When Tiffany told her that she didn’t want an abortion, her mother understood.  Now her mother baby-sits Elijah, 3, when needed.

Families on campus

Some student-parents live in the Family College apartments in the Moore Complex residence hall.  Only 25 of the apartments in Moore are reserved for families. The age range of the applicants falls in sync with teen pregnancies.  Current residents range from 19 to 34.

“I see more and more referrals from people applying to Buffalo State, like from high schools,” said Kerry Wagner, director of Family College and a social worker.

Wagner also says that mostly single parents live in the apartments.  She says many work multiple jobs to afford day care, rent and food. 

The apartments come in two styles: flats (one-floor apartment) and townhouses (kitchen, living room on first floor, bedrooms and bath upstairs).

However, only the townhouses are strictly family apartments and families living in flats extend throughout Moore.  Wagner says she wants to teach the general students to be considerate that their neighbors could be families. 

“You can’t do what you’d normally like to do in a resident hall.  Drinking, smoking, playing loud music.  There could be a 9-month old sleeping next to you,” said Wagner.           

As a social worker, Wagner provides linkages and additional financial help.  She works closely with the counseling center and the day care to help meet the needs of her student residents.

“My door is always open to talk,” she said.

Contact Kondomar: herrkr11@mail.buffalostate.edu

Photo by Kondomar Herrera

On a Thursday, Tiffany leaves by 7:40 a.m., drops her son, Elijah at the day care and goes to her 8 a.m. class. By 12:05 p.m., she is done with classes but works at the day care from 12:30 to 3. At 3:30 she works at the campus bookstore until 7. (Pictured above) She arrives home soon after for dinner.