What You Can Do to Help Victims of Abuse: If you are comfortable you can try any of these tips below. If you are uncomfortable you can call The Counseling Center 716-878-4436 or Crisis Services 716- 834-3131or the Care Line at 716-878-6889 for advice on how to proceed:
If you find out a friend is a victim…
- First, take a deep breath
- Talking to a victim of violence is hard and you may be unsure of what you can do or say. Before you do anything, take some time to think about it.
- Consider your relationship with the person
- That will determine how you might approach the person and what to say. Use good judgment and compassion in deciding what approach to take.
- Then tell her that…
- It’s not your fault.
- I’m sorry this happened to you.
- You don’t deserve to be abused or assaulted.
- You have rights and options.
- There is support available for you.
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Listen: Give your friend your undivided attention as she is talking with you.
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Believe what she tells you: it has taken a great deal of strength and courage for her to tell you these things.
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Do not judge: Be careful not to make judgments about the situation she is in or the decisions she has made or appeared to make.
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Understand what she is saying: Devote your efforts to understanding the thoughts, feelings and experiences she has chosen to share with you, as opposed to finding out things you want to know.
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Be supportive: Support her feelings as well as her choice to share them with you and acknowledge that is may have been difficult to do so.
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Repeat to her that the violence, abuse, or assault was not her fault: Continue to remind her that it was the other person’s choice and that’s where the blame belongs.
