It is estimated that up to one-third of high school and college age students experience violence in an intimate or dating relationship.
- Grew up in an abusive home
- Gets into fights with other individuals besides partner-fights in bars, sporting events, etc.
- Cruel to animals or pets
- Believes the man should make all the decisions- where you go, who you can go with, what you wear, etc.
- Believes hitting is an OK form of discipline
- Is a possessive individual (not just jealous, treats you like a possession)
- Outbursts of temper for little or no reason
- Blames others for his actions
- Has a poor self image
- Abuses drugs and/or alcohol
- Wants control over partner's actions
- Tries to isolate partner from family and friends
- Is a very traditional person- woman should be submissive, non-assertive, passive, etc.
- Doesn't know how to appropriately deal with stress or anger
- Moods change quickly
- May have an arrest record involving assaults
- Does not have good communication skills; couples with low verbal communication with one another will experience
- more violence than those with high verbal communication
- Lacks self-esteem
Danger Signs of Abusive Relationships
- You are frightened of your partner's temper.
- Compliant because you are afraid to hurt your partner's feeling or afraid of partner's anger.
- Having the urge to rescue partner when partner is in trouble.
- Apologizing to others for partner's behavior when treated badly.
- Being hit, kicked, shoved, or had things thrown at you by partner when he/she was jealous/angry.
- Making decisions about activities and friends according to how your partner will react.
- Extreme jealousy- not a sign of love, a sign of possessiveness and lack of trust.
- Controlling behavior- controls your time, how it is spent, who you can see or talk to, controls your money, makes decisions for you.
- Quick involvement- abuser will pressure partner to commit to the relationship in such a way that later the partner may feel very guilty when wanting to break off the relationship.
- Unrealistic expectations- perfect partner.
- Blames others for problems- abuser makes mistakes and then blames partner, anything that goes wrong is blamed on partner. .
- Blames others for feelings- "you make me mad", "you are hurting me by not doing what I want you to do."
Indicators of Lethality--When an Abuser Might Kill
The Centers of Disease Control reports that intimate partner violence results in about 2 million injuries and 1300 deaths nationwide each year.
The abuser has threatened to kill
- Partner has left the relationship or the abuser has discovered that his/her partner wants to leave, file for separation or divorce
- Weapons are present
- The abuser has easy access to partner or partner’s family
- A history of prior calls to the police for help
- Stalking behavior on the part of the abuser may be an indication of willingness to engage in life threatening behavior
- The abuser has threatened the children
- The abuser has threatened to take partner hostage of has held the partner hostage
- The abuser has killed or mutilated a pet
- The abuser has a history of assaultive behavior against others
- The abuser has a history of weapon
- The abuser has threatened suicide
- The abuser has an alcohol or drug problem