Helping a Friend with Relationship Violence
How do you know if your friend is being abused?
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Have you seen evidence of injuries?
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Have you accepted her/his explanations for black eyes, bruises or broken bones?
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Does s/he miss school or work frequently?
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Does your friend’s partner show an unusual amount of control over her/his life?
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Have you noticed changes in your friend’s or her/his children's behavior?
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Does your friend’s partner embarrass or ridicule her/him in public?
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Does your friend's partner blame her/him for the way s/he acts or the things s/he says?
What You Can Do to Help
Many people in abusive relationships will turn to a trusted friend first.
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Your friend's first step to safety may be the knowledge that s/he is not alone and not crazy.
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Let her/him know that many people experience abuse and that there are resources where s/he can get help.
Things to avoid doing
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Do not criticize the abuser. A victim often has conflicting feelings about the abusive partner, and s/he may become defensive or shut down.
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Do not confront the abuser. This can result in an escalation of violence against the victim.
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Do not slip a referral card or any other information about abuse into someone's bag or under a door. If the abuser finds this, it can also escalate the violence against the victim.
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Do not send a voicemail message or an email message about the abuse to your friend. You do not know if the abuser is monitoring the phone or the computer.