ASSERTIVENESS

Being assertive is thinking and acting in ways that stand up for your legitimate personal rights. Assertive behavior is honest and direct and communicates respect, rather than deference, for the other person. Being assertive isn't easy -it takes practice!

BEING ASSERTIVE MEANS YOU:

• talk and think about yourself in a positive way
• feel comfortable expressing and accepting feedback and compliments
• express yourself directly and spontaneously
• ask for what you want
• state honest disagreements with ease
• insist on fair treatment

COMPONENTS OF ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOR:

• eye contact- look directly at the person to whom you are speaking
• body posture- face the person; stand/sit appropriately close; hold your head erect
• gestures- use for accent and emphasis
• facial expression- must agree with message
• voice tone, inflection, volume- use calm, level statements
• content- be honest in expressing your feelings, but take responsibility for those feelings

ADVANTAGES OF BEING ASSERTIVE:

• you maintain awareness, responsibility and control of your needs and feelings
• you reduce the chances of future conflicts and tensions from unknown or uncommunicated needs
• your relationships stay healthy because they’re based on openness and honesty

REMEMBER, YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO:

• change your mind
• put yourself and your needs and feelings first
• say "No" without feeling guilty

MISCELLANEOUS:

if you consistently have a situation where you’re not being assertive, it helps to plan being assertive before you get there; decide what you will say and anticipate how the other person might respond there are times when it is alright to choose not to be assertive.

• I have an idea...
• I thought of something...
• I know how it can be done...

Last Updated: 2/00 AJD/JWMH