Rooftop Poetry Club - Greg Gerke

Greg Gerke

Greg Gerke currently lives in Buffalo. His work has appeared in Pedestal Magazine, Pindeldyboz, Hobartpulp, Apt, VerbSap, Ghoti and 34th Parallel with fiction forthcoming in Fourteen Hills. He is completing a novel set in Brooklyn. His website is www.greggerke.com.

Sample

FRIENDS AND FUN ARE FOR EVERYONE!

I like my neighborhood. I talk to no one and no one talks to me. There is but one connection. My shoes. When I walk down the street everyone stirs to look at them, their shine, luster—the clappity-clap on the worn cement. In terms of footwear I'm the envy of the neighborhood.
It's like the damn 50's around here. Wet clothes hanging at all times, in any weather. What difference makes it, it gets that fresh air. Yelling every minute. Do I see these well-smelling beasts? No. There was the time we heard the Malaysian man going off on his wife. One, two—many hours.
You don't think we should do something, do you?
Are you kidding? They're about to announce the Powerball numbers. And turn the TV up louder, I can't hear with that yelling.
The ambulance must have come the next day when we were at work. The story in the metro section the day after. Husband Tears Out Wife's Heart. Like a stage direction. It said she had burned the rice one too many times. He decided to throw her still beating little drummer boy out the window. It landed on a Chevrolet. My landlord asked me if I heard. I said I did. "You think I should raise the rent or something?" he asked.
"And your purpose is to make us feel better?"
"Yeah, it'll be like you guys'll give funds to pay for a
nice funeral. Hell I'll even send them some flowers. What kind do you give for someone murdered?"
Besides the obvious my landlord likes to wipe his boogers on my rent checks. When they come back from the bank they have an awful case of acne.
Did I mention fun? How about the Martinez's? When my April Poetry magazine mistakenly went to their mailbox, they kept it, though my name was clearly typed on the bottom. One night they had a few friends over, had a few drinks, opened up the magazine and started reciting a W.S. Merwin poem while alternatingly adding a 'fuck' between every word. In terms of joy that episode is right up there with enduring the massive police helicopter assault on some Chinese to find a supposed spy, the infamous Mr. Wong, who worked at Best Darn Chinese Food on 4th and Host. The propeller smashed my two bedroom windows and lodged jagged pieces of brownstone into my bare thighs and ass as I covered my then girlfriend Chantal even though she had three inches and thirty-five pounds on me. Don't say I never took one for the team or for my love of rear entry. They took Mr. Wong in for questioning. I've heard he's the new Dim Sum chef for the Mayor.
Okay, okay I'll be fair enough to include that one July night when I leapt and jumped across rooftops like Spiderman, ripping out satellite dishes and tossing them Frisbee-like to shatter on the ground. Direct TV still has a lawsuit pending but since I'm white they can't do much, only slap my wrist or my bricked ass if they're feeling kinky.
I think what it comes down to is this—me and my neighbors would have the most boring, prosaic lives without the benefit of each other. I didn't know there are essentially eight thousand different ways one can hock up flem. And I bet they didn't know short, anglo people like me stuff a pillow over their face when they cry. Now they do. Close those shades Morris. I've seen the shaky, handheld video on YouTube. I believe that time concerned my response to Chantal moving to Miami while I could just look forward to holding down the fort in ding-dong land. Even I can laugh when an old acquaintance from high school emails me the link for the nth time asking "Is this really you?" It's great if you haven't seen it—at the end I look out the window, searching for hope. I don't know they are recording me, but I look like I do and that's what makes it so funny. The expression on my face is priceless. It says—Was that take good enough for everyone or do I have to do another?