i fear the cold.
 i suppose that is why i do not like being woken up every seven minutes.
   the beeping only means i must come out from under my down comforter and red quilt 
     to stumble blindly towards the bathroom.

i fear disappointment.
  that i will never be able to see a girl trip and fall while wearing stilettos.

i guess it is alright for men to openly fear the rain.
  just the other day i saw two young men
     sharing a blue umbrella during a soft sweet drizzle from the sky.

my father fears that he may run out of things to     do.
  and that is why i do not check the oil in my car
    so he always can work at ease knowing there is another task ahead.

the woman in the gold saturn must fear her car insurance will go to waste.
  perhaps that is why she did not use her left blinker 
    when she cut me off.

i fear becoming the moon.
  while people waste film capturing the rising and setting of the sun
    i will be un captivating in a cycle that only leads to my disappearance.

[this much room for error]

seriously
sometimes a simple
im fine
really does suggest
im fine

as long as i
drink more
than three cold beers
you can play
fifa as much as you care

when i say 
stop smoking
i mean stop
smoking and no-
not-
the cigarettes

and just because 
i threw on a skirt 
today
doesnt mean-you can
take it off
later

and baby
i dont always 
want to cuddle after 
face it-youre gross and
face it-youre sweaty

oh and remember
that one time
on the parking ramp
in your car-it was raining
i faked it

--when i said
"im fine"
i was faking it--

i never liked nascar
i never liked jack
i never liked your roommate
except for maybe once
i didnt like the paint you picked 
or how you never finished
do you know how ridiculous
a half painted room is
i never liked your hairy chest
i never liked techno
i never liked how you spent money
except for maybe once
the ring was a real fine choice
but i bet you didnt take it back
no matter how ridiculous it really is to keep

most of all
i never liked 
how we hid
the most important things
you should have known when
my fine was faking
and my body was not

you should have known
when i was late
and it was positive
that i didnt 
i did not-
want to spend so much 
no matter how ridiculous the outcome
on what never should have been taken

how do You really know when someones real or faking

his fingers gently fumble with my waistband
  sitting just below my hips
gliding them across areas 
  not previously discovered by his hand
i am relieved
  i wore my hair around my shoulders
no rubber band could interfere with my head 
  laying flat to his chest
i place my right thumb into his front pocket
  as if it had traveled there before

i hear the music playing
but i am listening to the moment

i know the fate of these intricate details
  will soon dim into nothing
nothing   but background noise

If I think about it
I am utterly repulsed by what you are doing
Just two feet away from me

I cannot see your face
But I could easily grab the shoe off your left foot 
And throw it

I can read how Jenna luvz John 4eva
But apparently Becky says he's hers
Frankly I believe Becky
Because her mark on society was written in permanent marker
And Jenna's in pen
And Becky's punctuation and grammar 
Did not make me want to throw those ugly boots
The next stall over

I wash my hands
Because you don't want to be that girl that doesn't wash her hands
I hate when there are no paper towels
And I have to shake the water off

I have become so good 
At just shaking things off