How to Conduct a Counseling Session

1. Be prepared. Spend time reviewing the facts and defining your objective for the session. You may find it useful to prepare a set of “talking points” in advance to help you be clear about the issues and point you wish to make. These talking points do not become the counseling memo.
2. Counseling sessions should always be conducted in private. If you have an office, perhaps that is the best place to schedule the meeting. If not, you should seek another private room away from an employee's co-workers or the people being served by the agency. Failure to provide a private surrounding is likely to create a feeling of humiliation for the employee, which may manifest itself in more, rather than fewer, violations of rules.
3. Never schedule a counseling session with an employee when you are rushed with other duties. It will leave the impression that your concern is minimal if you are frequently interrupted, must constantly look at your watch, or you rush the employee out after only a few minutes and before your discussion is complete.
4. When an employee enters your office, act in a manner consistent with your normal demeanor. If you are normally relaxed with an employee, be yourself. Otherwise, the employee will believe that the discussion implies a personal conflict. This should be avoided.
5. Consider setting ground rules. For example, tell the employee that you are hoping for a conversation to work out the issue. You may say something like “Please hear me out without interruptions, and then I will listen to you and your point of view without interrupting you.” If it is true, let the employee know you expect to be able to resolve the issue in a positive way.
6. Be direct and candid. After greeting and making the employee comfortable, go directly to the reason for the meeting. Do not make “small talk.” Avoid chatting or asking general questions like, "Anything interesting happen today?" Questions such as these simply make employees suspicious of your motives.
7. In broaching the issue(s), you should explain the exact nature of your concern, making clear what has been observed and why it is important. For example, you might say: "I received a report today that you were rude to two customers. Obviously, the report concerns me. I want to take this opportunity to discuss the report with you and hear from you what happened." If you already know the names of the two customers involved, you might have added that to the introductory remarks. You should present your concerns directly and openly to the employee.
8. Where employees are cooperative, your job will be confined to determining what the employee's view of the incident is. For example, if the employee responded to your statement, by saying, "Yes, that is true," you should follow-up by asking: "Could you give me the details from your point of view? How did this come about?"
9. Some employees may be hostile. In those cases, you should remain calm, speaking in measured voice. Because someone yells at you, it does not mean that you must yell back. You are the supervisor and to control the meeting you must control your emotions and reactions. Rather than reacting to the employee's hostility, you should redirect the employee's attention to your concern: “What occurred in the incident or issue being discussed?” “Why did it happen?” “How can we improve performance to ensure it does not happen again?” If the employee continues to behave in a hostile or abusive manner toward you, you should calmly advise the employee that such behavior may result in disciplinary action. If the behavior continues, you should halt the session and discuss the matter with your supervisor or Human Resource Management. It should be noted that merely disagreeing with the facts as presented is not necessarily hostile behavior on the part of the employee.
10. Focus on the behavior of the employee, not the employee's "character" or "morality." An employee is more likely to understand that he or she has behaved incorrectly in a particular circumstance than to accept a supervisor's assertion that his or her basic character is unacceptable. For example, it is appropriate to say, “Your behavior on the ward today was rude,” but it is never appropriate to say, “You are a rude person.”
11. Be a good listener. Give the employee the opportunity to explain his or her version of the incident or circumstances about which you are concerned. Don’t interrupt the employee while they are talking.
12. Keep an open mind during the counseling session. If the discussion raises a question or reveals that your information was incorrect, or the employee's
    explanation is satisfactory, say so to the employee. Even where the employee's explanation is not satisfactory, the employee is more likely to accept your judgment if you have given him or her the opportunity to explain.
13. In listening to the employee's version of the incidents, a number of possible explanations may emerge. After hearing the employee's explanation, you must decide whether other actions may be appropriate in addition to reinforcing to the employee what the rules are. For example, the employee may need additional training, or perhaps reassignment so a supervisor can give closer instruction. You may not wish to make those decisions at the time of the counseling, but ask to see the employee at a later date after you have considered the options with other supervisors in your unit.
14. If the employee indicates that the problem is personal, or if you have some indication that the problem is other than work related, tell the employee about available assistance, such as the Employee Assistance Program (EAP), which can help employees deal with personal problems.
15. Reach an understanding on the corrective action which will be taken and set a definite follow-up date.
16. At the conclusion of the counseling session, you should thank the employee for seeing you and extend yourself to the employee should further problems of this nature arise. Ultimately you want the employee to know that you are available to assist in solving such problems before they erupt into the types of incidents which prompted the counseling session.
17. If you intend to confirm the session in writing, inform the employee that you intend to write a counseling memo and that a copy will be placed in their personnel file.